The water is calm, sparkling from the sun’s rays. The natural beauty of the land is vibrant, the colours vivid and bright. I sit peacefully taking this all in and reflect on how my mood is very much in tune with my surroundings.
I feel as though I can achieve anything, the world is my oyster. My creative ebb is on overdrive and no task is unachievable, as I strive forward with this newfound motivation. Nothing is impossible.
I am euphoric in nature, a pleasant stillness flows through me. Everything is balanced; I am one with all. Positivity consumes me, a glow reflects outward for all to see. I shine like the sun, creating warmth wherever I go.
I have come to understand this recurring pattern, and am aware that there is a change to come. Unfortunately, for me this bliss is not everlasting, this is the calm before the storm…
An unexpected shift in the weather takes its toll. My thoughts intensify; fast paced, blurring into one until they cannot be distinguished. My body takes on a mind of its own, no longer in control. Heart racing, chest tight, unable to take in much-needed oxygen. Panic ensues and this overwhelming anxiety crushes the soul, my stomach a sea of butterflies.
Storm clouds are brewing overhead, the darkness abundant. A chill in the air resonates to the depths of my being. The once calm, relaxed environment has turned its back on me; a master of disguise, guarding the disruption that is to proceed.
Lightening illuminates the sky like a beacon, the pent-up electric energy slicing the once pleasant skies with its destructive nature. But I am no fool. Another bolt strikes, this time making contact with the earth, like a knife to the heart. It is a shock to the system; the devil awakens inside.
A rumbling begins to build momentum, reverberating through the now dark charcoal clouds above. The vibrations can be felt through my body, simmering under my skin. I cannot sit still, my body is screaming out for a release. This agitation is an all-consuming force, an unpleasant persona emerging from deep within. My mind is set for destruction, no thought for consequences.
The dark clouds send the rain relentlessly towards the earth, towards me, just as my own mind ejects the build-up of guilt and sadness within. A sense of worthlessness takes hold of me, I am unable to escape its grasp. Numb, desperate for a way to end this sadness.
As one cycle ends and a path of destruction is evident, the sunlight fights to break the grip of the dark clouds in its path. The clouds slowly begin to clear, the deluge of rain grinds to a halt. The warmth of the sun can be once felt again, the fresh demeanour set to return in time.
Parallel to the ever-changing conditions, the notion of four seasons in the one-day is something that I have come to understand all too well. Fluctuating from one extreme to another, an exhausting and infuriating journey is experienced by all.
This pattern to be revisited all too often, but prepared with the familiarity of my loved ones support; I will remain protected and safe by their umbrella of compassion.
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